SO EARLY...
"E A R L Y birds must die"
I hate being up this early. I love being up this late. That’s right, while Sir Michael is cursing for having to commence his day at such an untimely hour, I will most likely still be alive and kicking, while I’m mentally in the day before him. I’ll have to be quite frank and say I hate all of you who are able to ascend from the grasps of slumber at the supposed conventional time, as you make my way of life seem so awry. I live by American standards in a time zone 8-10 hours away, forever chasing both the sunlight which I love, and the nocturnal street light which humors my creative being and spawns all the shenanigans I am able to conjure. This may be the most ambivalent standing ever, but I’ve come to realize that the winter seldom calls for anything else but a non-existing circadian rhythm, while summer usually supports my ill way of life with supplying me with an overdose of healthies for my body so that I may sleep as little as possible. I don’t sleep much to begin with, but it’s already way too much, I’m contemplating starting some kind of religious movement (try cult) where I hopefully can recruit some awfully clever gentleman who can provide me with an alternate calendar to my content… Its funny how we absolutely loathe both our beds and sleep in general when we’re ready for the sandman to cometh, but act like meth-heads when it’s time to ascend from his grasp.
I’ll probably succumb to social norm when I get older, but I’ll try to hold on to the kid as long as possible, and act like I’m a zombie every time I’m up before 01:00 P.M., just so that people will stay the hell away from me so I can hate my life in peace. At least for a couple of hours until I’ve adopted unhealthy amounts of caffeine, carbohydrates and other morbid health-related dietary concepts some of you care about counting. Don’t bother mentioning them to me; I sure as hell don’t care. The body is a temple that will eventually crumble, if I help that process by throwing a little party, then I’m sure the supremacy that is *input whatever God or omnipotent force you prefer* won’t mind when my name is on the list. So let me have my damn chocolate and Red Bull for myself, and don’t do weird shit around me when it’s too early for that. Seems like mankind can’t behave before dinnertime, which is yet another reason why I can’t stand being up early. People on the subway don’t behave, people on the sidewalks don’t behave, people in cars don’t behave, and the general mental capacity of the entire country seems vastly restricted around the time we should be at our peak. If some alien invasion force were to covertly map our prowess during the day, I’d think they’d be sadly disappointed.
The point of the story is that I feel sorry for poor Mike, and you should too. Unless he’s doing something really awesome, then I guess it’s an excuse to be up early. I wouldn’t be a bitch about it if I had to wake up hella early because I was obligated to attend some job or happening where I could be creative, have fun or make badass amounts of money. I guess I’m still just a kid, I want rewards, and I want them all the time. Nobody will pat you on the back for being up early (people do however, because it’s as unlikely to see me awake at an untimely hour as it is for you to not meet some weird dude at the subway later today.), on the other hand it’s actually expected of you. I hate expectations and I hate being up early, so I’ll prospect the opposite of both. On that note I’ll take my leave, and I hope more of you will join me in the future, as vigilantes watching over our veraciously valued city, forever valiantly vanguarding the verily verified virtue that is the vivacious valedictorian of inequivalence. Or just because all the fun shit on the interwebs happen after nightfall. I’ll keep you company, if you’re cool enough.
Sensei Rydis hates sleep, hates being up early, and hates weird people on public transportation. The word public usually insinuates the fact that you can’t act like an ass like you could do in your own car. Stop pushing your nasty ass fast food in my face (Deli de luca-ish), don’t listen to music so loud unless you get off at the thought of us eyeballing you for inane amounts of stupidity (at least buy something with decent isolation, don’t punish us for the fact that you’re poor) and don’t be rude as hell when you get off and on the subway/bus/tram casting aside all notions of acceptable social behavior. I’ll punish the next one of you, and I’ll make it my mission in life to see that your life becomes miserable.
HAVE A GOOD DAY THOUGH. Hah.
